The Diary Days - Episode 4

Temptations - you make me weak!!! 

Weeks passed by, the honeymoon period was over and I started working on various assignments. Days seemed shorter - week after week and month after month. With a blink of an eye, I had completed six months in the organization. I had learnt quite a lot in those six months and was looking forward to some more teachings. Our team was one of the best team at Pioneer. We were the stars of our organization and had gained success in a short period of time. The only friends I had were Sujoy, Rolston and Anamika. Apart from being colleagues, they had also become my good buddies. We shared a great bonding; they trained me on various projects and also taught me how to deal with difficult situations at work. There was so much to learn from them. I started coming out of my shell and began to grow as an individual.

I worked closely with Akshay. He thought I was smart and had a liking towards me. I took him as my mentor, and tried to learn as much as I could from him. I think he was the best manager in my office. He was pretty famous among girls. We had many things in common our likes, the love for food, traveling, etc. We gelled well and had become good friends by now. Baring the fact that he was my manger; he was also a friend, guide and someone I could look up to.

Our team had great bonding- fun, frolic and work.

One day during our evening tea break – “Hey, let’s plan something. What about clubbing this Friday? We can plan a night out and crash at Rolston’s place. Everybody ok with this plan?? asked Sujoy.

“Sounds exciting”, replied Anamika.

I was hesitant to even look at them. They knew I wasn't comfortable with this plan.

“So Zi what do you think, do you wanna join?” asked Anamika.

“Hmmmm. No I don't think so. You guys have fun.”

“Oh come on. It will be fun. At least come with us. You haven't even experienced this. You should taste this side of life as well”

“I won't be comfortable. You people enjoy.”

“Akshay you convince Zi. Tell her what she is missing in life. I mean we all work hard and should party harder.”

“Yes Zi, you should experience it once, said Akshay.  “How do you know it is bad and how can you be so judgmental. Just because we go out clubbing doesn't mean we have nothing else to do in life. We are just enjoying our life, living it on our own terms. That's it. Come out of your shell, you’re smart, talented and independent enough to take your own decisions. You should learn to make your own choices and live life the way you want to. Come at least once with us.”

“Relax Guys. I'm not being judgmental and neither am I saying you people are bad. These things don't fit into my values and principles. My parents won't allow all this. Hence its better I stay away.You'll have fun.”

“What do you mean by values? Aren't we all coming from good families?” asked Rolston.

“I didn't mean it that way” I defended.

“It’s just your mental block. You’re smart, you are doing well, but you’re still a kid. Who still listens to your parents? They won't even know what you’re doing.”

“But it’s all wrong.” I defended again.

“That's what we are saying, it’s not wrong its sheer enjoyment. Who cares what will happen tomorrow. Just live in the moment and enjoy the time. It’s like kal ho na ho……. ya Zindagi na milegi doobara types.” said Anamika

“It’s your way of looking at life and my way is different. Can’t stop you from doing what you’ll want and similarly you can’t force me to do things which I don’t want to. I can’t completely promise. I will try.”

“Good at least you’re thinking about it.”

“We are not forcing you Zi. Just that we want you also to enjoy with us. The choice is yours.”  said Akshay

That evening I went home with a heavy heart. Entire evening I was thinking on what they said ‘You need to get out, your still in a shell.’

I couldn’t sleep that night.  Teaching and values or friends and party. Two different sides of a coin. If I go, I'm definitely not gonna drink. I’ll just be out eating, enjoying the music and having good time with them. Anyways I love dancing…. Zi, you never even visited a pub. May be it’s your chance to see and then decide whether this is good or bad. They were right I haven't even seen, then how do I know.

No Zi. Just stop thinking. You’re just getting carried away. Life till now was beautiful, you still enjoyed without drinking and clubbing and night outs etc, then why this way now.

Yes Zi- something new to explore, your last chance may be. Your adventurous and like doing new things then why not this.

No Zi. What if ma and paa get to know what you are upto? How shameful will that be?

You are not doing anything wrong. Just enjoying - in a different way.

Yes Zi go for it,…….. no Zi….. NO NO…oh yes come one,NO NO…… Oh my head. Its spinning. May be ill go just once and see and never go again. No harm.

Leave it ...let sleep now...will decide tomorrow.